Monday, 23 September 2013

Word Vomit: Coming out of a funk....

So last week, I was super fraking emotional, everything was setting me off. Words in Songs, Stuff being mentioned, posts on Facebook walls, the lot.

So Like a child I hid at the weekend, Friday night after work I went grocery shopping with one of my house mates, distracting enough, friends popped over, Got a little tipsy and was for the most part keeping it together.

Hugged my friend goodbye, the one who is moving abroad, That was hard, Super hard. The wall broke, My resolve of keeping things together crumbled.

So I hid, Stayed at home kept myself busy, Dishes, Laundry made dinner etc. (Though almost killed some friends with the sheer level of chilli) Socialised a little, then went to my room and burned through 2 seasons of a tv show just trying to stay distracted.

Thank Frak for Netflix.

Sunday I did better, made breakfast, socialised. Went to a friends to watch American Football. Just can't seem to lift myself out of this funk.

I am excited to be going to my first ever Comic Expo this weekend. I'm sure it will provide a wonderful distraction.

We have also decided My football team is the Chicago Bears. It seemed appropriate.

I like that my friends are happy to have me lean on them and a year ago my situation was not as good. I just get some mad at myself for being weak, upset all the time, I know I'll snap out of it and that it is a completely normal response when something so big happens in your life.

I am too independent a character to willing accept that I need people and that sometimes even though I hate unnecessary touching, or is some cases being touched at all, that even I want to be hugged sometimes and told everything will be fine.

I am not a hugger never have been and for the most part hug because I should but I sort of half arse it. I just don't really feel comfortable enough to give in. That aside I recognise when convention says you should do these things.

This post has gotten away from me a little. I will end with this.

How do we survive when the people that know us best in the world are miles and miles away?

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